So this morning I was up at six. That’s not so unusual, I usually get up at four. The unusual part is: it’s Saturday! So I got up and did what I have been wanting to do for ages: take the camera, take my dog, climb into my car and drive to where the sunrise is gorgeous. We’re right at the point where we still have some traces of summer left but fall sends the first signs of his arrival, too. So you can be lucky: it might actually be misty and foggy and the sun might actually shine. I wasn’t lucky this time. And photography did what it’s been doing for the last months: it sucks!
There, I said it. It just sucks and every picture frustrates me. In fact, I’ve been there before – and so have many of you, I guess. The last time that happened was some time in 2013. It was shortly after my doggie arrived. I remember that because I remember the day I took the last pictures – the ones that really sucked – and realized that I couldn’t take the pictures I was seeing in my mind. I’m right there again. Only this time I know it will pass. What I don’t know is, when it will pass. So I’m letting go now.
The last time this happened, I was in the middle of a huge process of change. When I got my dog, he tought me structure. Before that my life was fairly unstructured and I used to live from one day to another. Kind of nice but as far as goals and success go, it doesn’t work for me. When Sammy came into my life, he changed it. A lot. And for the better! But I needed time to process that change.
Now I am in another huge changing process. Maybe even bigger than that last one. It took the last four to five months to understand and to process, but during the last week it felt like something’s set now. Like I found my tracks. To live the change.
That brings me to my blog. I’m not going anywhere and there will – in time – be pictures again. But I won’t get anywhere by pressing it. Things around here will change, however. The blog will be getting a new name – and theme. A new direction. A little more open to the flow and maybe a little closer to what it originally meant to me. There will be more texts and I will try and get more used to publishing them without visual material. Or at least without expecting myself to find a photo for every post. The motto ‚beauty in life‘ has outlived itself. Not that it’s any less valid, but it’s not my focus. My focus now is whatever occupies my brainspace. It’s in a large part occupied by the ‚Anti-Preneur‘ (you’ll find out what that is soon!) and also the refugee situation and the state of the world. On a more creative level I have returned to knitting (sooooo in love with my new pieces!) and something seems to be developing in the painting-area. Last, but really, really, really not least, is the making of a whole new life. I’m in the process of finding my new job. With it will come said whole new life because I’ll be moving as soon as possible. So this is what you can expect for now. It feels like I have managed to overcome the obstacles to my blog-flow and I hope I’m right.
I thank you guys for sticking around! It means a lot to me! Let me invite you all to come along and see where the change is leading. I’m looking forward to seeing you again! For now I wish you all a wonderful weekend! See you soon!