This picture is exactly the point why I wanted to write this post. As I told you before, I am a huge Gilmore Girls fan and have followed the series for years and years. To me, movies and series, literature and art, are not just some piece of entertainment to me. They are always something out of life. Human beings tend to learn through experience. Experience that they made or experience they witnessed. Reading books, watching movies, listening to people sharing their experiences are actually life lessons we can take.
Everyone who has ever been to a coach, a therapist or who has read self-help-books might be familiar with this exercise: pick one of your favourite heros in movies or literature and when things get rough, as yourself what he or she would be doing in the same situation. A long time ago I actually did pick Lorelai Gilmore and here’s why and what she has taught me:
Lorelai Gilmore is simply herself. She doesn’t do masquerade, she doesn’t do pretending. Sometimes I was shocked to hear her say stuff like in the screenshots above. Wouldn’t everyone in this world start to defend herself when accused of acting immature? After all, sane and rational behaviour is expected from us. So we can not admit to behaving anything else, right? We need to try best we can to NOT be immature. Or loud! Or a little crazy. Or… And here is Lorelai, right in the middle of an argument with her mother, whe had disinvited her from her annual Christmas Party, the one Gilmore Happening Lorelai actually likes, feeling hurt. Because she wouldn’t go anyway her daughter, ‚always the sane one in the family‘ tells her she’s acting a little immature. Agains all odds, Lorelai has nothing else to say for herself than that she is not acting. Saying, out loud!, that she in fact IS immature without beating herself up for it.
That’s why. I love how Amy Palladino has created an idol for everyone who lacks self-esteem and self-love. Because whatever Lorelai has been through before, she is a very strong person who never questions herself as a person. She is who she is and she actually likes herself for it. So she can easily admit to actually being immature from time to time. Or blurt out ‚The internet is more than just good porn now‘ at the conservative Gilmore Dinner or direct the quote ‚voulez vous coucher avec moi?‘ at her father’s business partner from France, sending everyone except the french couple into hysterics. She is open to criticism, she is able to say ’sorry‘ and right a wrong, and she has a real ethics that she follows. But basically she is totally alright with who she is. The core of her personality is intact and never ever in question. That’s her strength. And that’s what makes her stand out.
So if you’re lacking self-esteem or have trouble loving yourself, take a leaf out of her book. Make a game of it and pretend to be Lorelai Gilmore. For my own part I can say it worked. It took some time but I have finally arrived at the point where I have started to like my quirks. Which brings me to a big THANKYOU to my friends. Lately they have shown me how they actually like characteristics of mine that many, many people for many years have hated – but which are simply part of me. Their appreciation has shown me that I have managed to be okay with them myself. Otherwise they couldn’t. So thank you guys for being in my life.
Thank you S. for being the lovely creature that you are, driving me crazy again and again only to realize how well we compliment each other. I can’t wait for more and more adventures with you!
Thank you H. for your unquenchable thirst for growth and all the challenges we have mastered lately. And for all the joy and the enjoying of life that we do together.
Thank you P. for being that funny, honest person who challenges me with gusto. It’s really fun. I love our little battles and how they always come out even.
Thank you C. for your trust. You are a warm and loving person with the gift of perceiving others and actually get them. I love to see more and more of the real you.
And thank you, all of you, for being so aware and awake that you have actually managed this: I know, and I love (yeah, I really do!), that I trigger you guys – and you me. I know and love that I am not an easy friend, meaning that I never let you get away with any illusions (your own words). And yeah, today I am proud of that. You have given me the greatest gift of all: with your awareness you have mastered the art of realizing the difference between truth and projection. Maybe for the very first time in my life I am surrounded by people who actually manage to see me and not what they project on me. You complimented me on being the way I am. I compliment you on mastering this huge lesson in life and dare being yourselves. I love that we are a group who loves to grow, to challenge each other, to be able to discuss and even argue with each other and at the same time allow ourselves and the others to be authentic. You said that I was giving you that gift. But you are giving me this gift also. It’s a team effort and I love how we have somehow become a great team. Thank you guys! And thank you Lorelai Gilmore 😉